The Ties that Bind

" We're so far from where we were, but there's no reason for giving up. All this stuff is just bad luck. So please don't lose your confidence in me."


In life we discover people and build relationships that we believe will last a lifetime. We develop friendships so true and honest, that our minds cannot foresee them ever ending. I recall, even now, conversations I had with my best friend growing up in elementary school and middle school. Lindsay and I would talk about graduating high school and moving into an apartment together. We wanted to be roommates through college. We would talk about growing older and getting married. We had planned out our entire lives as best friends to the point where we believed our own children would grow up to friends just the way we were. We were the manifestation of the movie Beaches. The reality of it, is that Lindsay and I never even made past high school. By the time I was a Sophomore in high school, she and I didn't even talk. How is it that the ties that bind a friendship, something that seems so real and so genuine, can cease to exist in an instant?


Who initiates the death? I suppose some people move away and life gets the best of their friendships. I suppose there are those who decide to break away, in attempt to turn their lives around....I suppose they initiate the death. I hope I never find myself forgetting or losing the true friendships I've been fortunate enough to find. I never want to turn my back on those who invested their lives in me. I hope I can continue to share my life and my joy with those people, and also, that they can share their successes and joys in life with me.

Life's to short to be spent giving up on people or giving up on people and friendships. Its better spent mending, building and sharing love, and laughter with people who are connected to you. Don't take friendship for granted or the people who have been a friend to you because there is nothing truer, or more amazing than genuine, sincere, and unconditional friendship.

Tonight, it seems like ages ago...

"Tension is to be loved. It is like a passing note...to a beautiful chord."





New York City. One of the most populated cities in the States and yet it has a reputation for being one of the loneliest places in the world. Or is it? I think I learned that this city isn’t lonely—in fact I believe its filled with a million souls that long for something more. During my first NY tryst, I lived in an apartment alone. The first week was exciting. The second was boring. The third was just sad. From there on out I learned to fill my life with meaningless activities until I met people that were worthy of investment.

About one month into my stay, it hit me on a Sunday morning that my new roommate was settled in and that we had now been living together for about a week. It dawned on me that I had avoided her to no avail because I didn’t think she was the type of person I wanted to be friends with. What I failed to notice was that I wasn’t alone anymore because I was by myself. I was alone because I didn’t know the first thing about living in love. I walked past my living room, past my couch and perched upon the window ledge of my living room. It was at this moment, as I sat there staring out at the financial district of NY that, I had grown very fond of my roommate.

It wasn’t because we were together all the time in fact, we didn’t even hang out that often. It was the fact that there was a living, breathing human being fast asleep on my couch that made set my soul at ease. It was the fact that she and I were more alike that I ever realized. It was the fact that she opened her heart and her life to me with no hesitation and I was better for having her in my life. It was then, on that window ledge, overlooking the city, that I learned about loneliness, love and gained a tiny minuscule of knowledge about life. It isn’t the place that grows lonely or weary—it’s something inside.
You can be surrounded by a million people and I was. Tonight, it seems like ages ago, but I was alone because I didn't know how to love. I could not feed my soul with laughter, conversation, or love because I didn't know how. I grew weary and I grew lonely. Now I grow in love. I grow more in love with life and the beauty that surrounds each day. The person I was exists only in those moments captured by my memories.

The Captivating City

"You trusted your instincts, but they turned out to be wrong. It won't happen again."

The good news is, sometimes our instincts don't lead us astray. Sometimes, they lead us exactly where we want to be. In the summer of 2006, I followed my then, best-friend to NYC. It was the best decision I ever made. The time I spent in NY taught me a lot about life, opportunity and people. I learned that the saying, "the opportunities are endless," really had truth to it. I learned that I wasn't the person I always thought I was.
I was stronger, more driven and aware than I ever gave myself credit for. I learned that the people who were supposed to be on my side, were in fact the enemy. But in the end, I took my dignity and my lessons learned away from it all. This past year, I have had the wonderful fortune of moving back to the greatest city - New York. I was chosen for the best starter job any single, young "new yorker" transplant could hope for. Things aren't always perfect, but that's what makes us human. But even through the imperfections, I've found a joy unlike any other.

We're all bound to make mistakes. It's inevitable. Yet, I find that every passing day is a chance for me to learn from my previous experiences and to make new choices that will hopefully produce better results. They say if you can make it through your first year in NY, you'll never look back. I guess many don't ever make it. For a year of my life, I planned, I followed my dream, I worked, so I could be right where I'm at, lying here in my room, with my laptop propped up against me. I look out at my view and I see the East River, the UN building, the continuous movement of the FDR and I think, "What did I do to deserve all this?" I guess I don't deserve it... I guess I achieved it. Every thing that I worked for came to fruition. Everyone that stood by me, is a part of this. Not a day goes by that I don't think of the people who supported my decision to be here. They will always be a part of my happiness. They will always be in my heart...and I will always be grateful for their lives.

The Unrelenting Soul

Relentlessly, she pressed on. Every part that made her whole, was unwilling to stop. Despite the occasional disturbing thought of inadequacy or doubt in her abilities, she refused to be held down. To believe in her own self, was to fight. To fight against herself, within herself, and to fight for herself. Standing still, she turned to look back from the road she'd traveled. The vision of life's bends, steps backward, forward, obstacles and walls, that had lead to the very place where she stood now. It invited the rain that fell upon her face. The earth where she stood firmly, turned to clay, as the heart-sized oceans trickled down her cheek. Standing upon the clay, she turned back to face the continuing path before her. Unwilling to surrender to impulse and passion, to weakness and defeat, she focused her eyes on the lasting light of truth and hope before her. She did not have to rise above herself in order to dream of being strong or complete. She simple had to be inspired and she was.

-L.S.B.

"There is a breath of God in every man, a force lying deeper than the stratum of will, and which may be stirred to become an aspiration strong enough to give direction and even to run counter to all winds."--Abraham Heschel

LIFE

"I understand that during the course of my life I will be required to make many decisions, such as where I want to live, whom I want to live with, where I work, how much fun I have, and how I spend my money and time, including how much time I spend waiting for things to get better and people to change, and whom I choose to love.

I understand that many events that occur will be out of my hands, and that there are inherent dangers and risks in all decisions I make. Life and people have no obligation whatsoever to live up to my expectations; I have no obligation to live up the expectations of anybody else. Life is a high-risk sport, and I may become injured along the way.

I agree that all the decisions I make are mine and mine alone, including how I choose to handle the events that are beyond my control. I hereby forfeit my right to recourse as a victim, including my rights to blame, complain, and whine or hold someone else responsible for the path I choose to take. I am responsible for my participation–or lack of it–in life. And I take complete responsibility for the outcomes and consequences of all decisions I make, understanding that ultimately it is my choice whether I become happy, joyous, and free or stay miserable and trapped. " - Anonymous