Next Steps

i've come to the realization that no one actually reads this shit. so, what i've decided to do, is start writing down some of the most incredible memories from my childhood. this way, when something funny comes to mind, i can jot it down and have a growing library of hilarious, childhood stories, that will live on, via this digital archive. i'm switching things up. i'm not writing this for you. i'm writing this for me.

Computroning

The only way for people to truly relate to what I have to say and have been saying is for me to keep things honest and real. I often struggle with the reality of who I really am and who people want me to be. For the most part, I don't care about the perceptions or the clamoring chatter. I care about my family and they are the only reason for the filter. But, through this medium, I find that I can drop the filter and be free to talk openly and honestly about the reality of what my life is, has been and will become.

Someone asked me what I wanted to do, what would make me happy. I want to talk with people, explore ideas, share, mentor, be creative be with creatives. I want success, riches, fortune and no fame but rather acknowledgment for doing something truly great.

I want love, lust and passion. I want laughter, companionship and honestly. I want fashion, music, art and culture. I want the world to be at my finger tips and I don't want to have to settle for one or the other.

Why can't I have it all? Does money buy happiness? If it could buy me all the things I want, if it could provide me the lifestyle that allowed me to be and do all the things my heart longs for, then yes, it can buy me happiness.

I want to be an art director. I want to be a friend. I want to be true.

Looking for Change

"It doesn't interest me who you are and how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not look back."


I have been living in NY for a total of 2+ years now and each of my experiences has been so unique and what is amazing to me, is to think of how much I've changed over the course of those years.

I think of where I was in 2006 and I never imagined that I would be where I am today. As I have maintained friends, made new ones and lost a few along the way, I have lived my life to the fullest. Recently a dear friend of mine, made the most amazing life decision and accomplishment and moved away from the city. It was a proud moment for me as a long-standing friend, but also a moment filled with loss and I knew that they would be moving away.

Transition always presents such a conundrum, but I continue to welcome it. Without it, I wouldn't be right here, at this very moment, writing this blog entry. I sometimes try to imagine what my life would be like, had I stayed in Orlando. I shiver at the thought that I'd be working a mundane job somewhere, making 11 bucks and hour and doing the same thing I had done my entire life --bored and lost.

NYC has made me feel alive. I have genuinely realized the American Dream and I believe now, more than ever that anyone can achieve anything they dream is possible. No one said it would be easy --they just said it was possible.

Lately, I've been feeling like its time for something new...time for a change. I'm not sure what it will bring, but I'm looking for a change. I want to feel inspired, motivated and excited again. The city has a way of draining the life out of its people, but I'm not giving up without a fight.

I'm feeling the winds of change and welcoming it with open arms.

Flu Season

My mother sent me this lovely picture via her iPhone. I thought I'd share this with the world....Just in case you weren't already aware of this Health factoid.

Work Health Notice

You have to click on the image to view the full size image.

Basically, our co-worker was running a fever and had every intention to come into the office. Not only did I reply to his email, asking him kindly to not come in, but I proceeded to AIM my boss. I think the conversation speaks for itself (literally).

So, here is my Health Notice to all those sick over-achievers out there: if you are sick, Do NOT go to work!

CONTINUITY

Uninterrupted connection, succession, uninterrupted duration or continuation especially without essential change.

As a project manager at an Interactive Design Agency, I'm always hearing about, talking about it and perhaps, even reminding people to maintain continuity in their designs. I got to thinking about the meaning and began asking myself, "How does maintaining continuity in our lives, effect us?"

While enjoying a nice nosh and a cup of joe with a close friend, I listened, as she divulged about a tumultuous relationship she had been dealing with. She explained the history and how difficult it was becoming for her to move away from the lingering ties between them. As I listened to the story, I kept hearing an underlying theme that seemed to existence throughout their relationship. She was maintaining continuity in her relationship and now faced with the challenge of breaking away from the pattern.

Do we exist in these unbroken, consistent patterns because its easier than facing the occasional heartbreak? Are we afraid to feel lost or without direction?

I've heard people say, they are afraid of feeling, but I would be more afraid to not feel. Regardless of what it may be, pain, joy, sadness, loss... I maintain that for now, the continuity in my life will be an unbroken pattern of awareness. So that I might never allow myself to be trapped in the fear of something new.

When you least expect it.

I found what I was looking for...when I wasn't looking and of course, the timing was off. I think its safe to say that the feeling was mutual. It's also safe to say that it was and still is a test of patience.

Getting what you want isn't always the easiest thing but its always worth it and I'm definitely willing to wait.

In the mean time, I'll enjoy a nice slice of pumpkin pie, dinosaur soup and smile just knowing. That's enough for me.